DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently went home for a holiday break to visit my parents.
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I don’t really enjoy my time at home much because my mom is very controlling. She doesn’t let my sister or me drive her car to explore our hometown and what it has to offer since she is scared we will crash it. My dad is gone all the time, so we can’t use his car either. As a result, we are stuck in the house all break with nothing to do.
It’s difficult because my friends are always out of town for breaks, so I can’t even have them pick me up. I feel trapped every holiday.
How can my sister and I approach our mom about letting us use her car or find ways to be more independent during our breaks? I want to have a more fulfilling time with my family and also be able to spend time outside of my house so I don’t feel so restricted.
— Stuck
DEAR STUCK: It is time for you to get creative and become more independent.
How do people in your town get around if they are unable to drive? Is there any public transportation? While you may not currently use it, now may be the time to learn the bus system and routes.
Do you have a job at school or can you get a part-time seasonal job at home? This way, you can earn money that will allow you to get a taxi or car service to take you where you want to go. With money saved, you (and your sister) could also consider traveling instead of coming home every holiday.
Have any of your friends invited you to visit them during the holidays? Take them up on it, and have a new adventure.
This doesn’t mean that you don’t love your mother. Instead, it says that you are taking control of your life. Rather than whining at home, you are taking action.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel torn between two cities. One is my hometown, which is a bustling city full of excitement, while the other is a quaint suburban town. I like the feelings that they each bring.
I have my family in my hometown and there’s never a dull moment while I am there. In the suburbs, I’m surrounded by friends who embrace me and are always introducing me to new activities and places to go. I work remotely, so my job does not tie me to either city.
I want to buy a home in the next year or so, but I am torn on where to settle.
— Settling Down
DEAR SETTLING DOWN: Let your home search guide your steps.
Start working with a realtor in each area. Set parameters for budget, size, style, neighborhood and any other factors that matter to you. Take copious notes about the homes you find, and compare them.
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It is likely that the suburban homes will be larger and more affordable while the neighborhoods will probably be quieter and less active.
Get a feel for where you would like to spend more of your time — in the midst of the action or in a quiet, peaceful space. Since you work from home, factor in your comfort level for getting your work done in each space as well.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
