DEAR HARRIETTE: I sent the wrong text to a gym buddy, and now I am sure that she thinks I like her more than I do.
Related Articles
Harriette Cole: How far should I go with my Christmas to remember?
Harriette Cole: He hasn’t told his therapist about this big problem
Harriette Cole: My mom’s rule kept me stuck at home for the holiday break
Harriette Cole: I can see myself skipping class a lot this winter
Harriette Cole: I can’t get my home organized. What am I doing wrong?
She’s a really nice girl that I met at the gym. We have not gone on a formal date, though we have grabbed a bite to eat together after working out. We flirt a lot.
At the same time, I have an old classmate that I see more often. We do fun things together like going to the movies, bowling and horseback riding.
I am the worst multitasker ever, and in my attempt to do too much at once, I sent a text intended for my old classmate to my gym buddy, asking her if she wants to go to a steakhouse opening in our area. I didn’t notice the mistake until she responded saying, “Absolutely!”
I have to tell her that the text was not for her, but I don’t know how to let her down gently.
— Let Her Down Easy
DEAR LET HER DOWN EASY: You made a mistake, but are you 100% sure you don’t want to pursue anything with this woman? If so, you can tell her you made an honest mistake and intended to send that invitation to someone else.
If, however, you would like to get to know her, why not see what happens? The restaurant opening is bound to be a lot of fun.
On the flip side, if you want to deepen your relationship with your old classmate, now may be the time to put your stake in the ground.
Apologize to the gym friend for the mistake. Make sure she knows you do like her, even as you didn’t mean to invite her to dinner; instead, invite the woman you’ve been spending time with, and commit to seeing where that relationship is headed.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m an overprotective mom, and it is taking up all of my time.
I have three kids, ages 3, 6 and 9. The world is so unpredictable that I have to make sure that my children are safe at all times.
I put AirTags in their backpacks to track them on my phone. I have set restrictions on all of their electronic devices to limit what content they see. I stay for the duration of any events that aren’t school- or sports-related just to make sure they are OK. This includes birthday parties at our neighbor’s house, play dates and even when they do activities with relatives.
I have no time for myself anymore. I don’t want to smother my kids, and I don’t want to spend all of my time constantly worrying.
I know as a parent it is my job to keep my children safe, but how much is too much?
— Helicopter Mom
DEAR HELICOPTER MOM: Take a breath and pause. You cannot be everywhere all the time for your children.
Teach your children how to make smart choices. Demonstrate safe, healthy behavior, and choose adults you trust to leave them with. Which relatives are attentive? Which friends’ parents are trustworthy? Notice when other parents leave, and follow their lead.
Related Articles
Miss Manners: If you’re the best man at this wedding, brace for embarrassment
Dear Abby: My wife’s snubbing of my parents could cost me a lot of money
Ask Amy: I’m uncomfortable about my husband’s DNA test request
Harriette Cole: How far should I go with my Christmas to remember?
Miss Manners: I’m irritated by drivers who leave their car at the pump
Your older children should be OK without you in some circumstances. Same for the 3-year-old — with proper supervision. Make sure conditions are as safe as possible, and begin to step back. Everyone will benefit.
By the way, accidents happen. You can’t prevent your children from experiencing life. Keep breathing, and try to enjoy the ride.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
