DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m reaching out to you as a concerned parent grappling with a situation involving my teenage daughter.
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We recently switched our daughter from a private high school in town to the public school. Unfortunately, it seems she’s having difficulty making friends. I’ve observed her struggling to connect with her peers, and it’s disheartening to see her feeling isolated.
As a parent, I want to support her during this transition, but I’m unsure about the best way to approach the situation.
How can I help my daughter with the challenges of making new friends in a high school environment? I want to ensure her well-being and help her build positive social connections.
— Isolated in High School
DEAR ISOLATED IN HIGH SCHOOL: Change is tough at any age. Going from a sheltered environment into a more diverse one is bound to be challenging.
Your daughter is going to have to navigate her way and establish her own identity. What may help her is to join school clubs — academic or social — that interest her. If she gets busy doing things, she will naturally interact with other students and begin to build relationships.
Remind her that meeting people and getting to know them is often time-consuming. She needs to have patience. (Much easier said than done!)
When people get to know her, the assumptions that some of them may have made about who she is based on where she used to go to school will subside. Teenagers are skeptical and judgmental when they first meet new people.
Strongly encourage her to become active in school projects. This will help to ease her into the new culture.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a freshman in college, and I’ve been struggling with time management since the semester began.
It seems like everyone around me is involved in numerous activities, clubs and social events, and I’m constantly worried about missing out. As a result, I find myself saying yes to almost every invitation, which has led to a chaotic schedule, missed deadlines and a general feeling of being overwhelmed.
I want to create a balance between enjoying the college experience and managing my responsibilities effectively.
How can I overcome this fear of missing out and develop a healthier approach to time management without feeling like I’m sacrificing the social aspect of my college years?
— Stretched
DEAR STRETCHED: It is possible to do too much in order to build your social life, especially when you are at school. Pump the brakes.
Stop and take a look at your life. Evaluate what your priorities should be versus what they have become this year.
Starting college is exciting, and many students lose sight of the big picture and the discipline needed to keep up with their studies.
It is time for you to put school first. Build a calendar for next semester that lists all of your classes and due dates for exams and papers as soon as you get that information. Allocate daily time for studying on your calendar.
Then add in extracurriculars. Notice that there seems to be less time when you actually write it down. So now you will have to choose. What is most important? What can you let go?
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Harriette Cole: The 3 lists and one calendar you need for your 2024 life strategy
Interestingly, if you don’t show up all the time for everything, you become a bit mysterious, and others may wonder where you are. Use that mystery to your advantage. Remain an interesting person who gets the work done.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
