DEAR MISS MANNERS: What’s your take on posting written instructions for guests on how to use the toilet in a private home?
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I’ve seen notes about not flushing sanitary pads, notes about lighting a match after you’re finished and, the worst, notes telling male guests to sit down to pee.
I mean, it’s not a truck stop — shouldn’t these folks trust the adults they’ve invited into their home to know how to use a bathroom?
GENTLE READER: Perhaps not, in which case they might consider a sign in the dining room stating, “Don’t spit on the carpet.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter got married in the country where she now lives. Many family members and friends were unable to attend, and so we held a second reception a few months later at our home in the U.S.
Two family members came to this event, left without saying goodbye and then sent a note a week later. In the note, they did not thank us for our hospitality but instead scolded us for the food offered, which was not to their liking, complained that neither lunch nor dinner was served (the party was from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m.), and protested that there was no wedding cake.
Have the rules changed? I was taught to be a good guest at events, and to write a note afterwards that says, basically, “Thank you for your hospitality. I had a lovely time.”
Can you advise me here?
GENTLE READER: It’s odd that victims of rudeness often ask, as you did, whether the rules have changed.
You don’t really think that Miss Manners has nothing better to do than to announce, “It’s now fine to tell your hosts that you hated the food.”
She advises you not to trouble these people with your hospitality again.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Should I send thank-you notes to my pre-K religion class students for the Christmas gifts they gave me?
GENTLE READER: Thankfulness and generosity are key parts of most religions. Do you want to teach your young pupils that the latter is not worth noticing and that skipping the former is an option?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a guest at my boyfriend’s house, I spent practically all day making a turkey and all of the trimmings for Christmas dinner.
I told him that dinner would be ready at 5 p.m. I called him to come and eat when dinner was ready.
Instead of coming to the table, he made a phone call and talked for almost an hour, ignoring the dinner and me, while the food got cold. He could have made this nonessential call before or after dinner.
When he finally did come to the table, he hurriedly ate, then left to watch TV. I had just started eating, and he left me to eat alone.
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Miss Manners: I find it rude that the TV stays on when I enter. Am I overreacting?
In this case, what should I have done?
GENTLE READER: You seem to have had more than one turkey at this meal. Miss Manners reminds you that the new year is a good time for a fresh start.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
