In a new interview with British Vogue, Sophie Turner says the vicious media “mum-shaming” she endured last year, right after her shock split from Joe Jonas, constituted “the worst few days” of her life.
Still, the British actor is determined to build “a functional co-parenting relationship” with Jonas, for their sake of their daughters, ages 4, and 2 — even as the ex-couple continues to deal with sharing parenting responsibilities when she lives in the U.K and he’s based in the United States.
“I’m unhappy with the way everything played out, especially when it comes to my children,” Turner told British Vogue. “They’re the victims in all of this. But I think we’re doing the best we can.”
Turner sounds as though she is trying to be pretty gracious about those “worst few days” in September 2023, which may have been exacerbated by Jonas himself — or by his PR team and others allied with the pop idol.
Right after news broke that Jonas had filed for divorce from Turner after four years of marriage, stories spread on gossip sites and in the tabloids that portrayed “The Game of Thrones” star as an immature, 27-year-old who was a hard-partying, absentee mother.
“It hurt because I really do completely torture myself over every move I make as a mother,” she said. “Mum guilt is so real! I just kept having to say to myself, ‘None of this is true. You are a good mum and you’ve never been a partier.’”
The stories also carried the narrative that Turner had been shirking her parental responsibilities because she missed out on a carefree adolescence, due to the fact that she spent her teen years working on “The Game of Thrones” and other projects.
Turner does not say whether the mom-shaming hurt even more because of the widely held view that some of the negative stories about her seemed to originate from people allied with her estranged husband.
For example, in a Sept. 3, 2023, story on the couple’s shock divorce, TMZ portrayed the pop idol as a doting dad, quoting people who said he had been left to care for their young daughters “pretty much all the time” over the previous few months. At the time, Turner was in the U.K., working on a streaming series, “Joan,” while Jonas was touring with his brothers in America.
People wondered if Jonas and his people were trying to lay the groundwork for an argument that he should become the girls’ primary caregiver, expecting that the divorce could lead to a high-stakes transatlantic custody battle.
In fact, a heated legal battle did break out initially. Turner filed suit against Jonas in federal court in New York, demanding that he return to their daughters to England. Her lawyers also alleged that he refused to turn over the children’s passports.
While there are elements about the breakdown of the marriage that Turner could not discuss for legal reasons, she said, “There were some days that I didn’t know if I was going to make it. I would call my lawyer saying, ‘I can’t do this. I just can’t.’”
“And then, finally, after two weeks of me being in a rut, (the lawyer) reminded me that it was my children I was fighting for,” Turner continued. “Once anyone says to me, ‘Do it for your kids,’ I’m doing it. I wouldn’t do it for myself, but I’ll find the strength for them.”
Jonas’s team were quick to respond to Turner’s suit, releasing a statement that underlined his desire to coparent and adding, “This is an unfortunate legal disagreement about a marriage that is sadly ending.”
During the time that Turner was dealing with the custody case, she was forging a new friendship with Taylor Swift, who had briefly dated Jonas when she was 18. The world’s biggest pop star gave Turner a place to stay when she needed to be in New York for the custody case.
“Taylor was an absolute hero to me this year,” Turner said. “I’ve never been more grateful to anyone than I am for her because she took my children and me, and provided us with a home and a safe space. She really has a heart of gold.”
By January, Turner’s lawsuit was dismissed, and the ex-spouses reached a custody agreement.
Since then, Turner said, she and Jonas have been trying to be cordial as they to work on how to care for their daughters as divorced parents. “I’m confident that we can figure it out,” Turner said. “Joe is a great father to our children and that’s all that I can ask for.”
