DEAR ABBY: I am a single female in my 60s. I’m very much a loner and mostly keep to myself. While I know my lifestyle may be unconventional, it is the one I choose.
Related Articles
Dear Abby: How do we say her husband is no longer welcome in our homes?
Dear Abby: I heard my husband call this woman sweetheart. He says he misspoke.
Dear Abby: She’s another man’s fiancee. Is there still hope for me?
Dear Abby: We’re thinking of having our son’s wife investigated, but we can’t tell him
Dear Abby: My new boyfriend won’t take my advice about his difficult son
My concern is the possibility of dying alone in my house.
I have serious health issues and don’t expect to live a long life. I sometimes go weeks without contact with another human being, and if I should meet my demise, there’s a very real possibility that it could go completely unnoticed for quite some time.
I am not asking that you offer advice to fix my solitary life because, frankly, I accept it. What I would like to know is if there is a way — a service or device or something — that would alert someone in the likely event that I am alone when I meet my end.
— FLYING SOLO IN TEXAS
DEAR SOLO: Great question. If you have a newspaper delivered, your carrier would notice if they were starting to pile up on your doorstep. The same would apply if your mail carrier noticed your mail starting to accumulate.
There are also apps and services that will check in daily with you to be sure you are OK. One of them, the telephone reassurance program, is often provided free by an agency such as a county’s department of aging and disabilities. Volunteers make scheduled phone calls to check on older or disabled adults.
If this isn’t available in your area, check with your local senior center, AARP or department of senior services for recommendations.
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for quite a long time, and I am seriously contemplating walking away from it.
We no longer have anything in common. I’m active and hike, bike, play golf and lift weights. My wife is 100% sedentary and wants no part of any of these activities that could keep us both healthy.
It has taken a toll on her to the point that she has become obese and has mobility issues. Even a small amount of exertion exhausts her, which leaves me doing almost everything.
I did not sign up to be someone’s caretaker because she didn’t take care of herself.
For a long time, I have been friendly with a woman who is active and healthy like me. We have much more in common than just being active. She tells me she loves my intelligence and what a great career I had. I never received any support from my wife.
I am tired of being a slave. I want a partner. Your thoughts?
— FIT IN NEW YORK
Related Articles
Asking Eric: Do I need to publicly announce that she’s no longer my friend?
Harriette Cole: I think I made a big mistake. My child won’t put down her iPad.
Miss Manners: I’d complain about the plumber but I’m afraid I’d regret it
Dear Abby: How do we say her husband is no longer welcome in our homes?
Asking Eric: She booted me from the party list because of what her friends said
DEAR FIT: I think your marriage started failing before you met this active, health-conscious woman. As it stands, you are emotionally divorced before being legally divorced.
Talk to an attorney, then tell your wife that you haven’t felt emotionally supported by her for a long time and you want a divorce so you can be with someone whose interests and lifestyle more closely align with yours.
From what you have written, I doubt your marriage could be saved by counseling because, emotionally, you have already moved on.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
