DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am not knowledgeable about watches. I found the watch I often wear by searching online for a self-winding watch and finding one that was in my budget and looked nice.
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What I didn’t realize at the time was that it was a knockoff of a popular luxury design.
In the past, when somebody would compliment me on my watch, I would explain that it wasn’t what they thought it was. But I recently changed jobs and am seeing many more people each day, increasing the frequency that my watch is seen and that people believe they recognize the brand.
Explaining that it’s a knockoff is starting to make me feel bad, even though the watch was never bought with any intent to fool anyone. While it’s nowhere near as expensive as the real thing, it cost me enough I’d like to not have it go to waste if I were to stop wearing it.
I never meant it to be a conversation piece, but it seems to be one, at least among the people who care about such things. I doubt that a simple “thanks” will be enough to shut down conversation when somebody compliments me on it. None of my options here seem very good.
GENTLE READER: It is probably not the worst scam to allow others to mistake your watch for something more expensive. Since such people are both brand-conscious and unable to detect the real thing, Miss Manners would be inclined to the imposture pass.
However, if it makes you feel dishonest, she offers you a graceful example on a somewhat higher scale. Once, she thought she was seeing a huge Canaletto painting in the home of someone who might even have been able to afford one. Seeing her stare at it, mesmerized, the host said quietly, in passing, “School of.”
Perhaps in the case of a watch, it should be “inspired by” — a euphemism Miss Manners has noticed being employed by the fashion industry to suggest “stolen from.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Sometimes when I am invited to a friend’s house in a group that I socialize with, I ask if I can bring anything. Often, the host will say, “Just bring a bottle of wine” or “You don’t need to bring anything.”
I respect the host’s wishes, but when I arrive, I see people bringing side dishes. This has happened more than once and at different people’s homes.
I know it’s not my cooking, because when I’ve had them over, they seem to really enjoy my food. I am baffled and embarrassed by coming empty-handed, although I always do bring a bottle of good wine.
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I’m not sure what to do in these instances and what to make of it.
GENTLE READER: Although it is possible that some hosts who say not to bring anything really mean “Please! Cook my dinner!,” Miss Manners gives them the courtesy of taking them at their word. She hears from many who are annoyed to have their menus interfered with. You need not be embarrassed for respecting your host.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
