One of my favorite year-end rituals is to look back at the year’s columns, see how much we’ve gone through together and pull out a bit of advice that strikes me as especially noteworthy. Here are my takeaways from the first six months of 2023.
In January, I began a column about furnishing a rental property with this line: “I do not have a second home for the same reason I do not have a second husband. I can barely keep up with the one I have.” By December, I was eating my words for lunch, and finding the rental decorating tips coming in handy.
Lesson: Never say never. Decorate your vacation home nicely enough to attract good tenants and occasionally enjoy yourself, but also affordably with replacement in mind. Plan for attrition because small furnishings – pillows, bedspreads, pots and pans — have a way of disappearing.
In February, I helped two friends stage their beautiful lake house and home of 31 years to help them sell it so they could rightsize — and use the money to buy two smaller homes, one in their hometown and another near their new grandchild. (Their practical, intentional lifestyle change made it into my new book, “Rightsize Today to Create Your Best Life Tomorrow,” due out Jan. 2.)
Lesson: These empty nesters proved that, although clearing out a home you’ve lived in for decades is daunting, you can clear the path to a better, rightsized life. They’re looking forward to spending less time on a home, yard and pool, and to spending carefree summers in Wisconsin and winters in Florida.
In March, I talked with Matt Paxton, host of the Emmy-nominated PBS series “Legacy List with Matt Paxton” and formerly of Hoarders.
Lesson: When I asked Paxton what he wished more Americans knew, he said: You already have enough stuff to live — you do not need more. TV shows make downsizing look a lot easier than it is — it takes most people several months. And the clock is ticking. Getting rid of stuff lets you make room for the life you want. Amen.
In April, I got out of the shower, took one giant step over my lazy sleeping dog and promptly slipped, breaking my right kneecap in three pieces. In that split second, I became one of the 36 million Americans who suffer a preventable injury at home, one that requires medical care, each year, according to the National Safety Council.
Lesson: We need to be more careful. We can prevent slips and falls by securing area rugs with tape or nonslip mats, clean up spills the second they happen, light dark halls, stairways and corners of your yard. Cut clutter, which can be a trip hazard. And tell your dog to move.
In May, I read a new book by design psychologist Toby Israel — “Designing-Women’s Lives: Transforming Place and Self” — and developed a severe case of nostalgia. The word, from the Greek nostos (return home) and algos (pain), perfectly captures the bittersweet longing to return to the place we grew up. But Israel believes you can go home again — by design.
Lesson: We all, consciously or unconsciously, repeat elements of our childhood homes in our decor. The goal is to consciously channel the best and not repeat the worst. Note what you loved and didn’t about the places you knew as a child. Integrate those best memories into your home through memorable color (a parakeet green cookie jar), texture (velvet pillows) and objects (a conch shell). Create spaces that look and feel good because they positively connect you to your place in the world.
In June, I talked with Wayne Edelman, of New York’s Meurice Garment Care, about a life-changing topic – how to get whiter whites. All you need to know about Edelman is that an armored car once delivered Princess Di’s gowns to his shop to be cleaned. I aired my dirty laundry when I told him that I couldn’t get my linens as white as I wanted.
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Lesson: “People don’t understand that white is a color,” Edelman said. “Many wrongly believe that all fabrics are white at their core and with enough washing will reclaim their whiteness. White textiles are dyed white and fade like any other color and become less white.” This was somehow reassuring. While you can’t replace lost color, you can brighten your whites by getting them their cleanest. For that, he said, you need long wash cycles, very warm water, plenty of detergent and a sodium-based, non-chlorine bleach. The world looks brighter already.
Join me next week for a recap of highlights from the second half of 2023.
Marni Jameson is the author of seven books, including the forthcoming “Rightsize Today to Create Your Best Life Tomorrow,” due out Jan. 2. Reach her at www.marnijameson.com.
