DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am an amateur cook and baker. A number of years ago, I completed a hobbyist-level course at a renowned cooking school.
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Earlier this year, my wonderful daughter-in-law was charged with arranging a simple, intimate wedding for her father and his fiance. I’m not well-acquainted with the wedding couple, but to help my DIL, I baked and delivered a simple, two-tiered cake to the wedding venue.
After the wedding, I didn’t hear from the couple, but my DIL said several guests complimented the cake.
At a later social event, I saw the couple for the first time since their wedding. In front of several people, the father said, “That wedding cake you made was no good. I would have thought the guy who attended a fancy cooking school could have done better than that.”
I was stunned in the moment and didn’t reply. I think my silence was a good response, but was there something I might have said to express my chagrin?
GENTLE READER: “I’m sorry it disappointed you. Your daughter said that other people enjoyed it, but she must have been mistaken.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am the cook in our family, and I enjoy it very much. Some members of my wife’s family, all of whom are very sweet and loving, recently visited us, and I made dinner for us all.
One of them went way overboard with her compliments, and I was at a loss as to how to handle it.
Her, after the first bite: “Oh, Larry, this pot roast is delicious!”
Me: “Thank you!”
After the second bite: “Oh, my gosh, you are such a good cook!”
Me: “I’m really glad you’re enjoying it.”
Third bite: “Wow, this is really good!”
Me: “Thanks a lot!”
Next bite: “Mmm! This is just so good!”
Me: “And there’s plenty more, so enjoy.”
And on and on and on.
Can you help me? This will surely come up again when they next visit. I mean, I like compliments as much as the next guy, but enough’s enough.
Is there a point where I just smile and nod? Do I keep trying to come up with different versions of “thank you”?
GENTLE READER: That, or recite the recipe at such length that she will just have to keep eating without comment.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I moved 10 years ago to a beautiful part of the country. When driving or riding with others, I am frequently startled by incredible scenes — a massive volcanic mountain that suddenly appears around a corner, lake views where none were expected, bald eagles flying in front of the car.
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These sights are so startling and beautiful, and I interrupt whatever conversation is taking place with exclamations. I don’t think I can help myself! “Look! An otter!” “Look at the massive antlers on that buck!” “Ooh, newborn deer twins!” “That eagle is enormous!”
I constantly interrupt conversations, but seriously, how can I not? That glacier wasn’t there a minute ago! Am I rude?
GENTLE READER: Your enthusiasm is charming, as long as it does not overpower the conver– squirrel!
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
