DEAR MISS MANNERS: One of my closest childhood friends is getting married this fall. We still keep in touch regularly.
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She has told me about all of the details, sent pictures of the dress, even apologized for her wedding date being on my birthday.
I’ve told her that I don’t mind (this is not the first time it’s happened) and that I am still incredibly excited to celebrate with her and her soon-to-be husband.
The issue is that I have yet to receive an invitation or even a save-the-date. If this were a local wedding, I wouldn’t be concerned, but we now live on opposite sides of the country. I need to book a flight and a hotel before travel costs are sky-high.
Is there any way to politely ask about my invitation status?
GENTLE READER: How many times has your friend gotten married on your birthday? No, Miss Manners supposes you mean that this is not the first year you have spent your birthday celebrating an unrelated event.
In any case, the next time your friend talks to you about the wedding, ask a related question, such as, “When are you sending out the invitations?”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended a surprise retirement party for a dear colleague, with approximately 20 to 25 people in attendance.
About halfway through the event, before the toast for the guest of honor, I excused myself, as I had to pick up my daughter from a school function.
I said my goodbyes to several people, including my colleague and her husband. As I was walking to my car, I received a call from my daughter stating that she had made other arrangements, and I did not need to pick her up.
I had been gone from the party for no more than two minutes. Not knowing whether it would be proper to return, I went home.
What would have been the correct way to handle this?
GENTLE READER: It is not often that Miss Manners can say, as she does now, that both choices — returning or continuing home — were equally polite.
You were therefore free to make your choice based on how entertaining you felt the rest of the party was likely to be — and how interesting the book on your bedside table.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Near the end of an international overnight flight, I joined the line for the lavatory. Listening to the many comments going around, I learned that someone had been occupying the lavatory for a very long time.
After a while, a lady did exit, and it was clear that most of the time spent inside had been spent on a very complicated hairdo and similar makeup.
Would it have been rude to mention to her that an aircraft lavatory is not a beauty salon?
GENTLE READER: Understanding that it was a long flight, Miss Manners still asks: Are you in doubt about the matter?
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If the wait was exceptionally long, you could, while the bathroom was still occupied, have sought the assistance of a flight attendant on the theory that the passenger might be in distress.
But before you made too much of a nuisance of yourself, Miss Manners would have reminded you that you were still locked in an airplane — with both the lady in the bathroom and the flight attendant.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
