DEAR HARRIETTE: I would like to share a thought I had when reading the recent letter from “Stop the Bullying.”
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In addition to your advice of talking to the school officials and her son to get to the bottom of the issues behind the bullying, I believe it’s imperative she also do a deep dive into his online presence and media consumption.
While it’s possible that he is involved in similar activity online, I think it’s even more likely that exposure to it there or suffering from bullying himself, whether personally or anonymously, could be contributing to this issue.
She says she has tried to “instill values of kindness and empathy.” but it doesn’t take long to run into online spaces where the opposite values are extolled. Seeing the media he has consumed and interacted with could lead the way to a new understanding of why he is behaving this way.
— Anti-Bullying
DEAR ANTI-BULLYING: Thank you for adding such important thoughts to this conversation about bullying. Social media and general media consumption are like the wild, wild West these days. You are right to point out that they can easily derail anyone, even a young person who grew up with solid moral values.
For parents who need support, you can call the Stop Bullying Now Hotline at 800-273-8255. For students who are trying to make it through the day, text HELLO to 741741; they can connect you to a crisis counselor.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Embarking on a health journey in the new year, I’m feeling apprehensive about my lack of expertise in fitness and clean eating.
Though I thrive with accountability, I’m embarrassed to ask friends and co-workers to support me.
Can you suggest strategies for finding an accountability partner without feeling vulnerable or shy about my fitness journey?
— Looking for a Partner
DEAR LOOKING FOR A PARTNER: Congratulations on being serious about your health and fitness. This may just be the most important focal point for anyone’s life — even as it tends to be something we overlook.
You said it: Embarrassment and vulnerability too frequently get in the way of people making a consistent effort to do what it takes to improve their health. It’s great that you realize you will benefit from an accountability partner. Now — how to find one.
Look around in your world. Who is physically active? Who is making an effort to be healthy? I don’t mean who is the marathon runner. No. Who is working at it and seems open to talking about it?
This could be someone in your hometown with whom you might actually be able to walk, go to the gym or otherwise engage in fitness activities together. Or it could be someone long-distance with whom you can jump on a call and motivate each other remotely. Ask someone who knows and respects you and seems potentially open to a shared journey.
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If you can’t think of anyone in your own world, go to the gym and look around. Do you see anybody who looks open to talking to you? Go online to health chat groups. Look for someone who seems to be focused on health.
Obviously with strangers, keep your guard up in terms of sharing too much personal info — think home address, inner circle — but even a stranger could help keep your feet to the fire.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
